The only bit of that that sounded at all unlikely is that Hitler wasn't a world renowned shark trainer and I think he'd have had Unity Mitford do it for him


Hitler's British Girl
Thursday 20 December
9:00pm - 10:00pm
Channel 4
Documentary on the life of Unity Mitford, cousin of Winston Churchill, who became one of Adolf Hitler's closest confidantes. The film unravels the various rumours about her relationship with Hitler, whether she was a British spy targeted by the Gestapo, and the reasons behind her convalescence in a discreet English clinic.


the answer of course being a combination of sharkbite and frostbite...

(oh, and it's a discreet English *maternity* clinic ... cue film options for "The Boys from Brentwood")

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The only bit of that that sounded at all unlikely is that Hitler wasn't a world renowned shark trainer...

But the rest was all too typical of some shows on those channels...? I don't know whether to be pleased or worried that I pegged it so correctly.

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Actually, I couldn't tell whether you were joking or not you got it so close ... aside from the sheer implausibility of towing icebergs with sharks, the rest all sounded quite likely (the fact that the Titanic sank in 1912 five days before Adolf's 23rd birthday doesn't rule out his having taken up shark training as from 1907 to 1913 he was mostly poor and living in a working mans hostel in Vienna or in homeless shelters according to his biography (in Wikipedia!) which entirely fails to mention his shark training in those days ... it's interesting to note the number of powerful and rich Jews on the Titanic and how, within a year of its sinking, Hitler had moved to Munich, been flunked for a military medical, and a year later got special dispensation from King Ludwig III to enlist in a Bavarian military unit for World War I. The training of the sharks was obviously the first step on his role to greater military command and destructive power.

:-)

The sharks are what gave Adi his idea for the U-boats, which travelled in "wolf packs" (Adolf being "noble wolf" and he was actually known as "Uncle Wolf" to some of his intimates).

Edited at 2007-12-20 01:57 pm (UTC)

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Nazi sharks before WW1? The sad thing is there are those who would believe it.

Alan Stivell - havent listened to him since my college days

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Yup. A notion prompted by seeing some documentary claiming that there's a King Tut-style "curse" associated with Öetzi the Iceman, based on not very much. (After all that's happened this past year, I could make a better case for a curse on me.)

All I need is a list of accidents, illnesses and family misfortunes (drunk-driving charge, kid failed exams, cat run over, dead goldfish...) among those involved with building the new road across the plain of Tara, and I could create a documentary about "The Curse of the High Kings of Ireland"...

As for Nazis out of period, that's fairly easy: enough pics exist of early-period NSDAP members wearing their WWI uniforms with party brassards, and WWI helmets with swastikas painted on the front. Just make sure the narration is littered with ifs, buts and maybes (not forgetting trusty old It is said that...) and you could weasel your way quite easily through a 45-minute-plus-commercial-time production.

If pulled on it, the obvious response is "Good Lord, don't tell me you thought that spoof was real?"

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'I could create a documentary about "The Curse of the High Kings of Ireland"'

Please do! It has to be better than most of the stuff on TV, much more entertaining (and probably more factual than any of them as well).

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Assuming that the TV must be on for some reason, and my only other choice is another home remodeling show, I'd consider watching that.

... well, having it on in the background while I wrote and Starr crocheted.

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Thank you for the sharks. Sharks good.

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But do they have lasers mounted on their heads? Sharks may be good, but sharks with lasers are better. I still wonder if the Meridian Laser they shine north from the Greenwich Observatory is mounted on a shark or not.

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Well, given that this year's Doctor Who special is related to the titanic, maybe programmers think that ANYTHING Titanic-related can ride on Who's coattails to success.

Funny about the sharks, though. I just caught a Futurama ep last night where the Professor was talking about his plan to put Hitler's brain into the body of a shark. Coincidence?? I think not. ;)

*runs off to write updated conspiracy theory about time-traveling Hitler-shark battling his way through pods of Navy-trained, explosives-laden dolphins to sink the Titanic*

Hmm... in fact, I bet the "iceberg" was really just a cover story and that it was really a dolphin-bomb that tore a hole in the ship's hull! And I bet the dolphin-bomb was lured there by Hitler-shark himself! It all makes sense now. I can even work in Hitler-shark's plan to steal the Da Vinci sketch to explain why he wanted to sink the ship in the first place...

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The Da Vinci sketch revealed the secret hieroglyphs on the mummy which revealed the hiding place of the Holy Hoojah of Wossname, later kept by the Knights Templar ('cos there always are Knights Templar) which Hitler was going to use to take over the Manhattan Project, using ...

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Did it really hit the TARDIS rather than an iceberg? Was Kylie really a waitress on it? Did last night's teaser trailer really show the whole ship orbiting the earth with the Angels in the ballroom?..... find out on Christmas Day....

Edited at 2007-12-20 03:31 pm (UTC)

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I've got an online friend who's an archaeologist, and we like to watch these kind of shows and mock them MST3K-style in our chatroom. She actually threw up her hands and went to bed when we watched The History Channel's special on Noah's Ark.

I think the real winner, however, was the show on black holes in the Bermuda Triangle, Decoding the Past: Earth's Black Hole. ("THE HISTORY CHANNEL® turns its incisive and comprehensive lens on this baffling region to see if there are indeed any similarities between the supposed forces in the Triangle and the destructive force of a black hole. From a research voyage through the Triangle to interviews with world-renowned experts, this open-minded, scientific examination goes far beyond the event horizon to explore the secrets of this fabled area.")

Edited at 2007-12-20 04:58 pm (UTC)

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Proof positive that TV really does rot your brain if the National Geographic/ Discovery Channel really expect people to swallow that.

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Perhaps Gojira (Godzilla) or Cthulhu was hungry for Human tartar?

--
Da Boid

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Ugh. For those who remember the old card game Illuminati, it sounds very much like "The Servants of Cthulhu attack to destroy the Trilateral Commission using the SMOF." And some of those shows make about as much sense.

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